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Jenny : Artist Jenny's Blog

Brady's dilema

Posted on Jul 18th, 2006 by Jenny : Artist Jenny
Wow, my first blog ever. I feel a bit shy. Like I'm being exposed to the world. But really, I am. Anyone can read this. Hmm...can all the many faces of "Jenny" come together to create an cohesive whole for you to understand and recognize? Or is that why people blog everyday, to create a spectrum of themselves and their experiences? Maybe over time I'll create a Jenny rainbow, huh? My husband Brady is having a sort of mental crisis this evening. A crisis about belief. And about faith. He's been torn by a number of challenges (growth opportunities) lately that all seem to revolve around the idea of "having to defend and fight for what is rightfully his". This has manifested in a number of ways: from our relationship and the constant threat of loss, to his job and recent demotion and pay cut for no apparent reason; to his truck accident and having to fight for the guilty party's insurance to cover him; to now having to prove the worth of his totaled motorcycle to yet another insurance agency after we were both nearly hit on our bikes about a month ago. Brady is a conscious, mindful being, and yet is really struggling with these issues. And while he believes that our perceptions create our reality, he's now beginning to wonder if it's all just a crock of shit and if "reality" happens regardless of what you think or do. Brady's logic and intelligence was trying to "figure this out" tonight. And his head was about to explode. That's when he started yelling and making strange noises. And jumping up and down. Yeah, sometimes that's all you can do. The head doesn't always know! Hey, if you've got something to work out, and it's at the very core of your being, down to a cellular level, sometimes you have to shake it out! Let the body dance it out! Let the vibrations from your vocal chords carry it out with your screams! AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! So after that wonderful catharsis, Brady shared his revelations to me. And I readily took notes. Below is what he shared as the three possible realities to the Brady Experience: A: "My beliefs create my reality." B: "My beliefs filter an external and independent reality." And finally (much later) C: "I really don't know, and that's really alright." Right now he's sticking with C. (What do YOU think?--Please share your thoughts...)
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